concealing memories ♥

empty.

2011-12-13T03:01:00.002+08:00

;

i really regret looking at somethings i shouldn't look at.

i x know wth i am getting all soury about.

i x know why i am getting this feeling.

i x want to quarrel.

neither do i want to find fault.

but , you give me a feeling that you x bother bout my feelings.

you x bother bout telling me any damn shit bout you.

you x give a damn about my existance.

please ,

x make me feel i have made the wrong choice again.

please ,

treat me how i treat you.

before i change my ways.

promises aren't made to hoax a person ,

they are made to be achieved.

~~don't give me empty promises ,~~

~~they just make me lose trust in you.~~

& it burns.

2011-10-29T18:10:00.000+08:00

suppose to be focusing mainly on my studies for the holidays.
but i swear , i did not .
i have been slacking so much that i don't even know how time pass by so quickly.
its like it has only been two days to me.
but , seems like one week has just flew away.
without any purpose in this week.
have only finished history fifth form and nothing else .
i bet everyone else have at least finish like 2 of their science subjects.
what the hell is going on with you natalie !
buck up and work harder.
hmmm. i swear i tried waking up early.
but it just failed me.
spm is just two weeks away , how can i let everything go and focus ?!
althou i really have this strong urge to leave high school .
yet at the same time , i x know what's install for me at college.
its like , going to somewhere , with no one you know.
its like going back to the first day of kindergarden.
getting to know your new friends for the first time.
well , let's see what's going to happen then.

kay.
back to the books.

mooooo.

2011-10-24T01:18:00.001+08:00

well , uf2 is over. got back all my results.
still within acceptable range la. lol.
class party was help yesterday and i had fun.
except for the part where i got thrown into the pool.
well , sorry worm. i pushed you too many times into the pool.
and i bet you dk it was me. lol.
sorry. but you seem to be enjoying it. lol.
as for the other parts , i x wish to illustrate any further.
let's keep it a secret. lol.
took lots of polaroid. happy :D
erjie's belated birthday celebration was held yesterday too. kinda guilty i couldn't go.
hmmm. well , at least i delivered the polaroid to her after that :D
hahha. sprayed powder onto her , was fun but kinda fail.

well , i really have a very strong push that i want to leave high school so much.
all the drama and hoo-hahs are getting from bad to worst.
i swear i freaking x like it this way. hmmm.
well , just stick with it for two more weeks , and spm.
then i am done with high school. olahhh ~

had an awesome dinner tonight at paragon's japanese restaurant.
the food is okay. but the price is like . . woahhh. . . very nice. lol.
at least all of us had a wonderful family get together time. lol.
and i swear that my mum is addicted to polaroids. lol.
just like me :D
hahaha. jie and me went back to our childhood days playing those blown balloons.
lol. could not stop laughing at all.
we were damn tired cause of laughing. lol.
i really love having erjie back in jb.
at least there's someone to accompany me when i am bored. hee.

i swear ,
i am hungry again.
how is this even possible. ?!
i ate so much. something must be inside me digesting everything i eat.
lol. what a vain child.:S
heh.

kay. after this .
its really time for hard core studying.
spm is so freaking near , but i just can't sense the fear.
and what i fear most isnot having the fear of exams that i should have by now .
geeez. this is freaking me out.
hmmmm. guess i just have to buck up.
and i really x want to suck at spm. :X

so far , not good.
till here ,
i will be back ,
like the wind , raping your hair all the time. :P

pam pamm pi damm ~

2011-10-06T21:32:00.002+08:00

hahaha! so true ! ~~SHUDD UP :X~~

ahhh.

UF2 is coming on monday yet here i am blogging .

langsung no kit to study la. DD:

trying very hard already to push myself.

but i just seem so tired out.

i just want to finish SPM ,

finish high school and relax !
ahhhh ~

damn,

2011-10-05T23:30:00.001+08:00

wanna bitch bout me ,

do so .

but x drag my friends in.

you're not exactly that close to my friends also.

it only makes you more like a bitch.

no standard !

17 !

2011-10-02T00:04:00.001+08:00

go on strong number 17 ! :))

yesterday was real moody day.
but thank to two awesome people that made my day by accompanying me !
thank you so much for cheering me up.
you two rock !
just x drive so 'safely' next time :PP
hahaha!

today was kinda boring.
spend four hours making my passport.
finally got it :D
hahhaa.
i tore the receipt accidentally and i thought 'there goes my passport' :O
thank god they only need the upper part. lol
bought a new ultraman passport cover :D
love it , love it <3
heh.
spend time studying.
i finally realize how fun studying is :D

that's more or less. heh.
back to my books :X
byeee ~

the world.

2011-09-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

learningtowalkwithoutthehelpofanyone.

toughandchallenging.

that'swhatihavetolearninordertosurvive.

theworldisnotaplacewherepeopletreatyousincerelyandnice.

andthatisafactthatyoucannevereverchange.

thus,you'llhavetolearntolivewithitandadopttoit.

there'snothingyoucaneverdotochangeanythingoutofit.

c.america FTW ! :P

2011-09-27T20:29:00.000+08:00

went to pelangi yesterday to hang out with ziling.
waited for nearly 1 hour plus cause i reached too early.
sat at Auntie Anne's to pass time and something interesting happened.
there was a rat at there.
the girl could not stop screaming and i was practically giggling away.
lol. after a hard time of chasing and spraying ,
the rat ran out and ran over to Dunkin Donuts.
lol. the girl screamed and jumped. lol.

when ziling reached . we went to ksl.
lol. i was suppose to help her choose a present for her fiend but ended up getting one for myself too.
hahaha. thank you for the early birthday present :DD
terima kasih oh. i really like it.
wee~ CAPTAIN AMERICA shirt :PP
ps ; ini sampatt. take my phone and send her own picture over when i was eating. LAUGH DAOO.

as for today ,
went to school after 5 days of staying at home.
got back some results which are quite satisfactory but some were like ..jiakk sai. -.-
still waiting for more results to come in . and i guess i really have to prepare my heart.
for heart attack any moment ~.~
my goshh. i really ain't prepared enough for this time i guess.
made a promise to myself to start studying ,
but to my surprise . i couldn't fulfill it at all.
slept for the whole afternoon till 7 plus.
that totally explains my pigness :P
hehe~


me love captain america :D

fly up up up ~

2011-09-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

LALALALALA ~ cantik passport picture .

得到了我的新passport照.

feeling that is so good its beyond words. lol.

the picture came out too beautiful that it was too fake -.-

hahaha.

i told the aunty that i want my eyes become big big ,

then she really edit my eyes till so so big. gosh !

going to make passport tomorrow and i am so excited.

lol. finally can get my passport renewed and can masuk singapore to play dy !

开心 ,开心 ,真的很开心 !

i wanna go singapore to shop , shop , shop tilli drop.

but the only problem is i got no $$ in my pocket and my sis gave too high a budget !

i x have a ez-link card pun .

mati , mati ~

still wondering whether i should go to singapore anot la. :S

can shop in malaysia also , but no clothes to buy la.

hmmm ~ macam mana leh ?!

i've like 5 days to decide , so , let me enjoy life dulu :D

considering of changing a phone .

Xperia Ray or Iphone 4 ?


Xperia Ray :D


Iphone4 :D

hmmm. Xperia Ray is so awesome but Iphone4 is even far more awesome.

xperia ray's price is within thousand over bucks but iphone4 is like over two thousand bucks.

MANA ADA LUII ? -.-

banyak cantik leh that two phones.

ahhhh~ tempted to buy so many things recently and i lost my bottle.

damn me. left my adidas bottle in the cinema.

shouldn't have smuggle mcd into the cinema la.

then i wouldn't have take my bottle out to hold on my had.

how smart of me -.-

now , i have to waste some money to buy a new bottle.

心痛到我要死 !

haih. there goes my money ! D:

listen ~

2011-09-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

watched X-factor on tv .
was really fascinated by a real good singer.
her singing is real damn awesome.
could just listen to her singing and start tearing unknowingly.
that's how talented some people can be gifted.
god is really amazing.
some that are really talented are using their talents in the right way.
so , here's a video of the girl ; Melanie Amaro performing Listen by Beyonce,

a really touching song.
she seriously have the X-factor and i really want her to win.
she's awesome ! *thumbs up *

and i am currently in love with a song by taylor swift.
; White horse.

Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know ♥

boom boom powww ~

2011-09-23T23:12:00.000+08:00

saw pictures of myself in short hair years ago.
got an urge to cut my hair short again.
but i x have the courage to do so -.-
wonder if i went and cut my hair short suddenly ,
what would my mum's reaction be ? lol

recently ,
all my blog posts too emo already.
so ,
today's blog post shall be a more happier post. lol
i hope *

life's gonna be more awesome after this ,
i hope it will.
most of all ,
i just hope ife goes on a fast pace and in a huff ,
everything is over.
couldn't be more glad than that :DD

i wanna go shopping , shopping and shopping.
shop till i drop.
but the problem is,
my pocket is like totally empty :O
well , just have to wait for mummy daddy to give me $$.

yea. erjie coming back in two days time.
then i won;t be talking to myself all the time anymore.
at least i'll have someone to accompany me during the dark of the night.
and at least when i go shopping ,
i have a company.
life's gonna be so much more interesting :PP

笑笑没忧虑 ~ :3

booms*

2011-09-23T00:37:00.000+08:00

trials are finally over. could be more glad than this.
well , the sad thing is that UF2 is like only another 3 more weeks away.
and then is SPM on the 14th of nov .
tell me , why is life like this.
no life dao~~~
tak ada mood to study at all.
but really gotta force myself to face my book 24/7 after this week.
hmmm. i really detest form 5 life la.
let's get over with it fast and clean.
huhhuhu~
after this , i will be enjoying life.
free and easy.

i want to sing K so badly la.
its like a craving , i can't resist.
i wanna sing my lungs out like , seriously.
i need to destress. DD:

我不是超人.

我只是梦想成为超人.

因为没有什么会太困难超人.

但.......

它只是一个梦想.

它永远不会成真.

大雨过后，阳光会回来.

2011-08-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

我相信，大雨过后，阳光会回来

我不是超人 , 我只是，普通的我 .
我也想成为超人 , 但它不可能.
我不能做每一件事情 , 仍然得到最好的结果.
我尽力但有一个限制对所有我可以做的.
~~对不起 , 是我不够好.~~

我需要一个可以依靠的肩膀.

& life smiled ,

2011-08-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

ilovestarbucks.

i think today i went to school for no reason lor.

it was kinda waste of time at school lor.
after that , i spent the half the afternoon at STARBUCKS. :DD
chilling alone at starbucks while spending time reading historyy. -.-

at least i got to finish quite a lot la. hahaha.

saw this guy which was quite good-looking ,
but the next minute he take out a pack of cigarettes ,
i turned away and decide to go back to my book. lol.
well , saw Jessica and Gwyen from sunway college.
say hi and bye ~ lol.
then i sat publi bus home :D hahhaa. quite awesome.

the bus uncle actually returned me my 1 buck and i gave him 20 cents.

so , i used 20 cents to have a bus ride home. great !
hahaha. reached home and slept the whole evening. -.-
pig i know. but i really tried not sleeping but i still failed.

after i woke , bathe and went out for dinner with dad & his friend.
well , they wanted to chat so i scram to the side.
to realise , i nearly died there -.-
i was like , bombarded by smoke from every angle -.-
north , south , east , west : semua smoking.
blehhh :S x suka betul. lol.
i watched the Yonex World Championship and the China girl was damn awesome.
she's awesome ttm ! her skills are unbelievable.
well , at least i got home safely ! :DD

i am so freaking lazy to go to school tomoro la :(
i wanna stay at home and rot with my books. huhu'
tomoro's lunch will be Curry Fish near cs .
not quite happy actually , but not quite sad too.
i just xlike curry that much.
makes me tear -.- like , ALOT ... T_T
hahaha.

i shall really study more already .
next week ada itu apa , history pre-trial trial.

kinda sucky yarrr. before trial ada trial lagi.

apa ni ! lol. i think i hate exams , stress and mestrual la.

everytime any of these three things are coming ,

my pimples seem to be oozing out on my face like sesame seeds .

maybe some ; peanut ! ewww~

i don't like pimples. shoooo shooo !

kay la.
i shall learn to love life and enjoy it.
that's all for today.
byeeeeeee !
ps ; the freaking mosquitoe is biting me , way too many times :(

hair MASK. ( to reduce smoke sniffing intake) lol.

dinner !

2011-08-10T22:34:00.000+08:00

huhu' today's the 10.08.2011 , wednesday. the first time ever i really cook a meal for my dad and sis. lol. i think it was quite successful. at least i did not burn down the whole house. lol. it was awesome. cooking alone was kinda fun , but the cleaning up part sucks ): well , i think i loves the soup the most. lol :DD cause it has potatoes , carrots and tomatoes. i love it ! huhu' well , hope mummy comes back from kl faster. i miss her ttm. ):

heh. <3

THE REASON OF ALL REASONs.

2011-08-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

life ;
has its ups and downs ,
but why does it seem like mine is always down ?
even when its up ,
its just for a short instance ,
and the next thing i know ,
its down again ,
right before i can react to it.

well ,
i've tried to make do with life the way it is ,
but it just keeps getting worst .
even when it gets better ,
the next day it will still go back to the same old routine ,
something is always bound to push me back down.

what i really x understand is ;
why is it that im always the one ?
why is it always such a coincidence ?
why is it that someone can twist the story so perfectly and push all the blame to me ?
why is it i have to put up with all the pretendence ?
why is it that no one will be there to listen ?
why is it always that it ends this way ?
why is it when i start to trust someone , it just backfires ?
why , why why ?

hmmm .
life will never be perfect.
life will never be how i want it to be.
no one can live in harmony ,
no one can shudd their mouth up and diam,
no one can just stop gossiping bout others just for one day ,
no one can do al this ,
no one can answer all my whys.

all i want now is ,
to finish up my trials ,
finish up my SPM ,
get out of this school ,
get to know new awesome peeps ,
never look back into the pathetic meaningless high school so-called 'awesome' life ,
i want to move forward,
i want to live happily !
is it so hard ? :(

no matter how hard i try ,
no matter what i do ,
i still get back the same treatment .
so , why should i even bother !
hmmmmmm.
people say humans change ,
but the logic is , who don't ?
who'll remain the same as one was a few years ago ?
but before saying others changed ,
why not look at yourself first ?
didn't you changed even more drasticly ?

promises.
are made to be broken.
are made to hurt oneself.
are made to lie out of a problem.
are made to make one happy for a moment.
are made never to be true.
why bother maing promises when you can't keep them !

smiling doesn't mean im happy ,
it's just a form of concealing the sadness inside.

SCYLC'2011

2011-08-02T00:56:00.000+08:00

just came back from sunway youth leadership camp yesterday ! it was awesome <3 if i had a chance , i would really go back again. bu i can't. that's sad. :(( it's really fun and you'll really get to know lots of awesome people who'll talk with you thru the night. awesome ! :DD i wanna go again !!

Sunway College Youth Leadership Camp FTW ! :D

我爱SCYLC'11 :DD

when you're down . . . . you're down.

2011-07-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

mood down to the ground , totally. -.- have to rush out add maths project and pass up next week. now , in the middle of doing , got super big problems of not getting the correct answer. i really x understand why must we do this kind of things! tell mw WHY !! DD: hmmm. ahhh~ let's get done with this asap and then ill be free. and i really want to settle of my spm and trials. then get away from that sucky place which i ain't happy at all when am there. i may smile but deep down , there's no way to express how it feels. hmmm. am i thinking or probing too much into it ? or is it not just the circumstances but just the people ? hmmm. considering all the facts , well , i guess i can do nothing but accept life. like the saying ; when life gives you lemons , eat your damn lemons. & i guess , this is life. hmm. well , i'll just make do with it till i change my perception then. life goes on , no matter what. so , i'll learn to make do with it and just walk my way through. :) kay , looking forward to the camp this weekend where i can enjoy :)

~~ps ; i feel like crying , i just don't know how to explain. even if its to myself .~~

PLKN ! DD:

2011-07-11T19:53:00.000+08:00

everyone's very tensed up with the PLKN results that has came out. lol. well , i was really scared yesterday till i could feel my whole body not at ease. hmm. well , lotsa friends kena PLKN which they aren't happy with . LIKE WHO IN THE RIGHT BRAIN WILL BE HAPPY TO GO TO PLKN. its like a waste of time and waste of energy and waste of life. lmao. send a message over to 15888 to check whether i got it or not . and i swear , the wait was really torturing. but i think the happiest and greatest message i ever get was ;

Maaf! Anda tidak terpilih untuk menyertai PLKN Siri 9/2012. Terima kasih.

&

RM0.20 : PLKN : Maaf ! 94122401xxxx anda tidak terpilih untuk menyertai PLKN siri 9/2012. Terima kasih

HAHAHAHAHA! couldn't help jumping up and down when i receive the news. was freaking happy that i jumped to my mum's room at 1am to tell her. lmao. hahaha. my friend practically check for me like 3 times online and i send one sms to 15888 and another friend did so for me too. lol. a total of 5 confirmation. TAK KENA ! ain't so lucky after all :) those who got it , i bet you all are thinking how to escape it right ! :DD kay la. i think im starting to love MALAYSIA :DD for this , -.-

good luck and all the best to all those who haven't checked yet kayy. x get so tense up cause only 27% will get and if you really get it , i must say ; you're freaking 'LUCKY' !!

teresa !!

2011-07-09T12:47:00.000+08:00

TERESA FTW ! :DD

sports day is officially over on 07072011, and i don't know whether its a thing to be celebrated or not. hmm. which means have no more ways to skip classes for no reason. oh goshhh. well , im glad its over too cause i can stay away from the dreadful sun that can practically roast me alive. hahaha. well , today is the school in front of my house's sports day and i swear , I SWEAR , it's so damn freaking noisy i can smack the ass out of them. lmao. the sun is practically killing every skin cell of the students la. so , let them go home and i can have peace for my ears too. lol. hahhahaa! as back to topic for my sports day , well , the most fascinating thing is eunice painted herself as AVATAR which was really damn awesome :DD hahaha. i painted all my nails blue and i loved it :DD hahaha.okay. now my skin is totally off tone and i look like an indian -.- the only part i x like is , my nose i blacker than any other parts of my face. -.- hate it man. lol. well , as sports day ends , its time to start reading up and start studying already ! :DD to get good results , i need to work hard ! super duper hard ! for scholarship , for my future ! :DD

):

2011-06-26T16:47:00.000+08:00

i am freaking craving for ice-creams DD:

teoyongshun's day :DD

2011-06-26T01:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEO YONG SHUN , SISTER ! :))

well, ; 25062011. was an awesome and fabulous day ! had the best steamboat , i suppose , in the past two years. with my friends. hahaha. it was so fun and laughter was heard thru the whole eating process. lmao. well, the steamboat was actually planned to celebrate TEOYONGSHUN aka sister of mine punya birthday ! hahaha. he didn't know we planned he whole thing at first. hahaha. we only invited a few people thou. lol. heh. it was real fun thru out the whole steamboat ! heh. we ate lots of food :DD and winger and foong junwei turned vegetarian over there and i seriously dk why they wuld pay 19 bucks just to eat vegetables over there -.- go out there and eat the grass la. lmao. foc somemore. hahaha. yong le pula seriously have no 'eating image'. i couldn't stop laughing the moment i see him eating. lmao. ding yao kept singing and it made us all burst in laughter. lol. yongshun becam the eating machine finising all the food i put on his plate. hahaha. peishi was happily grilling or should i say , frying chicken meat & all. hahaha. i was thereeating non-stop and i total feel like i gain like a thousand pounds :S lol. but it's all worth it. lol. heh ! well , the worst part was , the guys mixed some weird things out and yongshun was forced to drink all of it. i think i'll puke if i was the one drinking. just looking at them making the 'drink' as enough to turn you upside down with disgust. but what i least expect was yongshun actually said it was nice :O goshhh ! * taste bud ada problem * hahhaa. after eating , we brought the cake out and started singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY freaking loud. everyone turned and look at us. lol. i bet yongshun have the best birthday ever. lmao. the guys smashed butter unto his face and my hairband kena pulak :SS well , i smashed a piece of cake at him which i feel damn guilty right now. eh , actually , not at all. lol. hahaha! lastly , it was TOTALLY SUPER DUPER AWESOME ! :DD

to yongshun ;

hope you enjoyed your birthday ttm. & sisters forever. :DD don't emo anymore after this and be hyper like me :DD heh. have fun throughout your last year in high school and make more memories to be remembered. you rock & don't ever belittle yourself ! :DD HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER !! :DD

:D

2011-06-21T21:12:00.000+08:00

it has been such a long long time since i last bloggged. so , today , me shall blog. hahaha. lots of things happened this pass few months and all is awesome!! :DD well. i have nothing to say,
just very grateful and happy with life currently as all is going well. :DD
now , i just hope i'll recover quickly. that's all :DD

oh yea ~ meet my new buddy ; STARBUCKS ! :3

sorry ):

2011-03-10T22:33:00.000+08:00

im freaking sorry ~

sometimes , i really detest myself so much. ttm. i hate it when people break their promises made to me. yet , i , myself break the promises that i made time and again. and this time , it caused me a best friend , a real true friend who will always stand by me , help me and care for me. ONE WORD , one word was all it takes to break a bond of friendship . sometimes , i really , seriously think im a jerk. as in , real jerk. hmmm. i wonder time and again why did i said it , when i x really mean it. hmm . i realy suck to the max. maybe like what my friends say , y life can totally be summarized into one word . which is ; WRONG. my life is totally messed up. thanks to my stupid bossy attitude , stupid character , always taking things for granted and stupidness in everything. but sometimes , i really x know how to express my thanks , care or concern via words or actions. sometimes i will make people misunderstand my intentions. but they really mean no evil. i always say the things i x really mean. i x mean to hurt anyone from it. seriously. i know you've forgiven me a thousand billion times when i make you angry but i always get angry at the slightest thing you do that mean no evil. i know you always give in to all my request yet i always want things to go my way. you've always mean me well yet i always thought you meant otherwise and scold you. i took everything you ever did for me for granted and never ever really treasure it. now , i finally throughly screw everything up. totally did. no matter what , you'll still me my best girl-friend ever. forgive me one last time , will you ? one more chance,

im sorry ! truly sorry. ):

~~fml.~~

life.

2011-02-25T23:38:00.000+08:00

the worst thing about life is when you have to make that decision between everyone that loved you. i thought i went passed it. i really thought so. but after how i actually broke the news to you , your reactions afflicted me badly. idk but i just have to stick to the fact of it. it has happened. what is at stake is we might both lose someone whom we both treasure. like what people always say , ' there's no boy and girl good friends only , something will stir up in between ' . somehow. now i feel that it was all so true. i really hope that nothing changes after this. what you said just made me waver a bit , cause you've been there. like always. and perhaps i x deserve someone like you. maybe i ain't the one for you. all i can do now is be your buddy like we used too . you will be okay , everyone will be there for you. no matter what. just be strong and move on. it's not your fault. it's not. you'll be just FINE.

CNY !

2011-02-09T15:34:00.000+08:00

is being emo the new trend ? why do everyone seem so emo. ishh. especially during CNY -. what a mood spoiler. come on la. it's suppose to be a happy event. nothing sad to feel bout it. hmm. so , CHEER UP. no matter what happens , there must be a way to solve it . no matter how !

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARRRRR ~

I LOVE ANGPAUS. LMAO.

pictures paint a thousand words.

2011-02-02T02:57:00.000+08:00

pictures ; pieces of memories that remain. no matter how , time just stops for an instance . just that instance , after that , it moves on. life , is the same . one thing may happen at that certain instance. but still have to keep tough and carry on.

holidays going on. lots of things happened. lots of things did not happen. maybe its just time to let it all go and let everything go the way it is supposed to be. hmmm . trying to put a front that is happy yet not really knowing what's really happening deep down . it's practicall , no , totally torturing. not knowing what im really thinking deep down. i wanna break free and run out of this pathetic , torturing feeeling. knowing something is happening yet not being able to do much about it. not being able to savage the situation , crap . deciding to hold on to something which may only hurt yourself , why continue doing so ? let go. its better for everyone right ? but after letting go , be strong and live life better that you use to. don't make others worry for you. BE STRONG ! life goes on . it doesn't just stop at oone spot. it goes on ,and on .

now , my bloody stoopid nose is totally stucked and i can't breathe. damn ! i hate stuck nose in the middle of the night. -.-
time to move on and get some sleep.

HELLO 2011 !

2011-01-16T17:39:00.000+08:00

hey bloggy. im back. after a month or more of abandoning you here to rust and accumulate dust . well , im back to tidy you ! awww. how i love you. but life's getting busier by the day and i can't keep you up to date ! i'll do my best. mwahh starting to love 2011.

2011 IS GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR <3

PC EXPO - PERSADA

2010-12-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

hmm. finally 4 days of work at PC EXPO is done. the first day was torturing as we have to move stocks and everything from landmark mall to persada , arrange them and stack them up nicely. that was the worse day. the first till third day of PC EXPO were the best . everyone get to know each other better and had fun together. the only ting i miss the most s the people. its kinda sad that it is now over but i swear the next fair im going to work again ! i miss both no: J23 and everyone who worked in the booth especially beth , mag , barbara , lucas , junhao , lao shu , cooler , karang guni boy and etc. you guys make the work the most interesting thing ever. and i practically sold only 7 mp3/mp4 on the first day of the expo , 16 on the second dy and 26 on the last day ! wee , happy.

i love PC EXPO '10. J23. E-CUBE.

2010-11-25T23:21:00.001+08:00

Advantages Of Being A Woman

Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

camp-o !

2010-11-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

huhuh! went to CF camp at Guo Guang primary yesterday. was really tiring but overall , i guess all that has gone will think that it was very very fun and awesome ! (: well , i was grouped together with vincy and dickson . well , it was my second year to get teamed with vincy for the second year (: lol. lol. our group was CARNATION. lol. the kids were awesome. they get involved and was really hyper. hmm . i really thought we eould be last but i was shocked to know we actually won FIRST (: lol. i was so tired i could practically die there. lol. so , everyone enjoyed the camp , and it was fun! :DD well , now , FOR THE PICTURES ! (:


CARNATION FTW ! (:


me and my sleepy eyes with the number 1 hamper (:


me and second sista (:

me and avelyn :D

with naoki and second sis (:

zhu er (:

me and my mama !

me and my so-called parents. lol.

me and naoki , in the car cam-whoring (:

me and ivan (: he regreted not joining my group. lol.


PHOTO OF THE DAY !

I LOVE MY KIDS AND MY GROUP & I LOVE CF CAMP !

the last .

2010-11-15T05:43:00.000+08:00

its like 5.30 am in the morning and here i am still wide awake , staring at the laptop. having sleepless night , having the worst day of my life thinking bout what exactly happened between us . staring into the blank spaces makes me think bout you yet , its so far yet so close. it seems that we were just happily texting a few moments ago but it was actually a few months ago . it seems like we were still talking late at night and laughing over the silliest things yet it was a few months ago. why did everything change just suddenly ? did you change or it is just me ? i really wonder what life would be if i really hadn't know you , but i just couldn't go back into time where i did not know you before. it just seems so far away . just by looking at your name makes me wanna say to you all those that i never said before but it all seems too late. its just words that came too late. just being able to know what is going on is the best i can get for now. i just want you to be happy , and i fine with everything else. ~~as the flower withers , so do i.~~

as for what is going to happen next , I RATHER NOT IMAGINE.

~~i wouldn't walk back that road , if i am alone.~~

the wakening call.

2010-10-30T01:37:00.000+08:00

omgg. i totally NEARLY DIED. IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF A SPLIT SECOND. it all happened at 11 plus pm. anna was driving while chris sim and me was talking in the car. we were turning at the corner and 'BANGG' the impact was so strong i got shifted from the left side to the right. the car just totally drifted so badly that if it went up the curve , we might have turtled and go straight into the big drain . and by that time , we might have been dead or maybe badly wounded. but thank god for his protection upon us and kept us save . the car just stop right before it went up the curve. i was so stunt. anna was traumatised. badly . but chris sim seem to enjoy it. he said he thought anna was drifting. -.- overall , everyone is fine and maybe just a little stunt and trauma-ed after what has happen. hmm , still feel a little giddy now. but it will all be fine after a sleep.

after what has happened , i think back and thought that if i really died at that moment , i would have regret alot of things that i have never done or answered. the first thing i would regret is not treasuring the people i love more . not giving the best of me to everyone. not being a good daughter. and maybe this was a wake up call to me. to treasure those beside me more. life can be lost in just a split second . anything can happen , at any time of your life. so , treasure what you have or you may lose it the next. i really thank god for his protection and maybe , this awakening call.

just to let you know ; i still love you.

:))

2010-10-28T23:40:00.000+08:00

dilemma of which to choose ? lol.

physics-ing now. geez. i totally forgot every single thing i read about the other time. which spells one word ; DIE. lol. i shall just read what i can for now and a PASS would be fine for me. lol. i did lots of silly mistakes for biology today as i really couldn't focus well. hmm. shall not let the same thing happen in my physics paper tomorrow. i shall do my best and buck up for the sake of my physics teacher and my parents. (: tomorrow is going to be so awesome. after tomoro , only 3 MORE , YEAPP , 3 MORE PAPERS TO GO , and im free. for two months. hahahaha! im so happy. lol. i can't wait to go out with buddies and just laugh my time off instead of poking my nose into my book like now and end up having pimples all over. geez . i just simply hate exams ; the source of pimples. lol. tomorrow i can finally REACTIVATE MY DEAREST FACEBOOK WHICH I HAVE BEEN AWAY FROM , FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS. WOAHH , AMAZING ?! lol. and i earn a meal. great . (: and when a sorry could help to mend all things , is it so difficult to say a simple 5 lettered word ; S-O-R-R-Y. aww , i think i won't get to sleep so early as i haven't finish studying. geez. i simply hate burning the midnight oil. but what too do. well , last day of it. and i can sleep like a log and let's hope i'll never wake up to my senses. x need to look at my flunky results , no need stress , no need disappointment and most importantly , NO TROUBLES .

FREEDOM , HERE I COME !

heee-yaww.

2010-10-27T20:08:00.000+08:00

add maths today ; paper 1 was awesome. but paper 2 was like OMGG. but overall , i just want to pass . lol. tomoro having biology , oh my love. (: let's hope what i study will pop out then . can't wait to finish off all my exam papers and get a life. lol. SCORE HIGH FOR BIOLOG Y , FINISH OFF THE PAPERS ; & KICK SOME ASSES . :3

well , now how does it feel to be blame for something you've never done before ? how does it feel for being the only one to be blamed over something that you did not do ? how does it feel when the one you trysted most turn back and doubt you to the max ? if there's no trust , what will be of something that you hold on for so long ? what will be of the trust you once have ? what if its all gone because of a certain person ?

the only solution - take it down , and let go.

COUNTDOWN ; 5 MORE DAYS TO FREEDOM .

im distracted . awww.

2010-10-26T18:14:00.000+08:00

exams recently , feel like killing myself so much. hard hard hard. its so hard i can faint right away. the true colours of everyone is shown during the exam. that 's what i hate about it. hmm. let's just hope everything will be fine. (: let's do it wheyy ! jiayou. only 9 more papers to qiongg. (:

sis

2010-10-05T22:37:00.000+08:00

oh my dear sis , i miss you so much ):

star (:

2010-10-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

i wish upon a star ,

that i would fly up high ,

that i would have wings ,

that i would be a little kid again ,

that i could have true friends ,

that i could be cheerful ,

that i could be the one i used to be.

if only.

2010-10-01T18:21:00.000+08:00

if only i could turn back time ,
i would not do the silly things i did before.
if i could turn back time ,
i would not have let you go .
if i could turn back time ,
i would not be the one doing meaningless things now .
if i could turn back time ,
i would not let you go .

but now ,

you've left.

& time can't be turned back.

if i see you ,

i'll be yours.

imissyousomuch.

sing. . .

2010-09-29T23:34:00.000+08:00

SHE'S THE ONE

I was her she was me
We were one we were free
And if there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

We were young we were wrong
We were fine all along
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

When you get to where you wanna go
And you know the things you wanna know
You're smiling
When you said what you wanna say
And you know the way you wanna play, yeah
You'll be so high you'll be flying

Though the sea will be strong
I know we'll carry on
'Cos if there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

When you get to where you wanna go
And you know the things you wanna know
You're smiling
When you said what you wanna say
And you know the way you wanna say it
You'll be so high you'll be flying

I was her she was me
We were one we were free
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
Yeah she's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
She's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

She's the one..

by ; ROBBIE WILLIAMS

i want.

2010-09-27T22:58:00.000+08:00

i want to grow up. i want to be the person i want to be. i want to have all the wonders in my hands. i want miracles to happen in my life. i want to be the best. i want to be worthy of you. i want to understand what is going on. i want to know what's right and what's wrong. i want to know the reason behind all that has happen. i want be the one there for you. i want to know the purpose of my life. i want to know the reason im here. i want to know the way things must be. i want to master the skills. i want to have freedom . i want to be carefree. i want to be trouble-free. i want to enjoy my days. i want to live everyday like it was my last. i want to be the one to cheer you up. i want you by my side when i need a shoulder. i want you to whisper in my ears. i want you to be there for me. i want to know what you're thinking. i want to know all the silly things you do. i want to know what i meant to you. but over all , i want a life ; that is mine.

is it so difficult ? ):

things .

2010-09-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

things i do not want to know , was made known to me ;

things i want to understand , was never made understood to me ;

things i always wanted , was never mine ;

things that i never do, was blamed on me ;

things that seem going well , was not well on the inside ;

things that i want to voice out , were never once done.

biatch-assness.

2010-09-25T21:05:00.000+08:00

i really somehow x understand wth is your problem okayy. i x offend you , x come and step over my line of patience . go on & i'll retaliate.i x care whoever is on your side , but , if you continue doing this , i swear i'll make life hell for you. and yess , im not afraid of you . neither do i bother bout you. stay saying nonsense behind people back for you have even more stabbing you. PS ; YOU'RE NOT EVEN A DOT IN MY LIFE . I LIVE FOR MYSELF AND X FOR YOU. I DO NOT NEED TO PLEAE YOU. SO , GET OUT OF MY SIGHT AND I'LL BE GLAD THAT I X HAVE A SORE IN MY EYES. thank you. if you terasa , yeapp , its you. whatever !!

i have fun jus the way i like , detest me ?yeapp , i x like you. on the other hand , i love the way you detest me , because you're jealous i have more friends than you , im more famous than you and i x need to be AA to make people notice me. so , go on doing what you are doing now , im sure to make you famous. :DD

mood ; moody .
reason ; you're ignoring me.

with love ;

natt.

mamma mia. (:

2010-09-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

beet bett . its a wonderful day. and im ginning from ear to ear. its so great to be able to be happy. seriously , i just realise happiness can be very simple. just by having great friends by your side ; its happiness. (: at school , serhan did a very funny thing .

serhan : ehh , aunty give me two nuggets only ! * hold up plastic bag with nugets *
me , peishi , yuwen , regina : hahahahahahaha.
serhan : eeeeee , aunty play cheat
regina : *takes out her nugget from pocket* heh. i got three.
serhan : eeeee. aunty play cheat , play cheat .
yuwen : ehh , just now you eat one edy la. before you eat your keropok.
serhan : ehhh , ya mie ? why i x remember anything one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
all of us : * laugh like crazy * HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

she's so cute. weeett. hahaha. she made us laugh so happily today. cheers to you hanhan (: lohziling x come to school today . geez. class super fun. hahahahaha. our class decided to have poolside bbq at either manlin's or julin's house. (: hahaha. gonna have lots of food and fun. heh. can't wait for it. but , exams comes before the party. geez. i hate exams =x how to finish so many subjects ? how to pass all the subjects ? hmm. takut la. tapi , i have to be strong and fight it out. lol. but not yet la. enjoy somemore first. (: hahahaha. happy happy. lol. i feel like eating ice creamm man. hmm. ice cream , ICE CREAM. lol. tomoro im gonna enjoy life. byk byk.

with love ;

natt.

happiness is simple.

2010-09-21T20:05:00.001+08:00

owl city's official page. ( clickable )

im happy . very happy .because my best friend finally forgave me and we finally clear the misunderstanding between us. we're not gonna let anything come between our friendship anymore. we'll trust each other till the end. heyy bestfriend , we'll always be bestfriend forever. !! (: thank you veryy much. (: finally i can smile from deep don. a real happy smile. :D ohh ohh , i found my newest loved song ; HELLO SEATTLE , by owlcity (:
omgg. its so nice. im in love with OWLCITY . im so gonna download all owlcity's songs. AWESOME ! im gonna enjoy my school life to the core from now on. (: oh ya , my history scored a A- . (; but two more marks to A+. quite saddening but who cares. at least its still a A. (: i think my eldest sis is a monkey , she ate so many bananas. omgg. hahahaa. im a HAPPY GIRL.

with love ;

natt.

Kuching kueh chapppppp !

2010-09-16T19:21:00.000+08:00

heehowww. currently at kl for the second day . and yeapp , it's kind of boring. ): i wanna go shopping , shopping and x stay at grandma's house listening to some outside aunties crapping in the house. -.- geez. but thank you for wonderful food in kl. yumm. i love the KUCHING KUEH CHAP !! AWESOME ! and the kampar fishballs can really make me go goo-gaga over it. (: its so nice i can eat ten bowls of it. yummy. (: hahahaa. okayy, i'll come back soon. off to dinner and next kiwi loh and then DURIAN CAKE from a austrailian bakery. yumm. taa! photo of kueh chap up soon.

with love ;

natt [:

oh my kl ; banished. ):

2010-09-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

hero daddy to the resque (:

i was suppose to be in kl by now. yeapp , but it was delayed due to a flat tyre -.- . on the way , i said i was hungry and dad brought of us to mcd cause i request to eat there. then dad drove using the old road instead of using the highway. hmm . suddenly there was a pop sound but we didn't really pay notice to it. then somehow 2nd sis keep saying there was this weird sound and she asked if the doors were closed properly , as dad slow down , i realised the car was a bit lower on my side. then i told my mum and we stopped at the side of the road and checked ; to realise that the tyre really went flat. then we had to change the tyre at the side. at first we were kinda messed up cause we didn't know how to get the high-jack ( or whatsoever it is ) out of the collum it was kept in. but in the end dad figured it out. and in half an hour , the tyre was changed. dad look like he just bath finished in sweat. lol. i felt so guilty after that cause i feel that i was the cause of it. if i x not requested to eat , we could have been in kl. hmmm , well , at least it was a good experience. i finally know the feeling of being at the side of the road in the middle of the night wearing tank top and shorts and yet i wasn't freezing. lol. sounds of lorry passing by was so loud and the wind blowing into my face was so strong i could feel i was shaking. lol. hahahahaha! yeaa. we drove back to somewhere near my house as there was x tyre shops that was open in kulai or senai. so , the repairman said that the metal that went into the tyre was a huge one. and he could not figure out how it can pierce into the tyre. at least now the tyres i well and we can go p to kl. but mum decided to go up early morning tomorrow at 4 am . :D now , im happy cause we finally settled everything . i also settled things between me and my friend and evertything is alright ! (:

daddy trying to take the flat tyre out.

the metal that puncit the tyre.

the quiet road.

the metal that was stuck being half pulled out.

the metal that was pulled out from the tyre.

with love ;

natt .

TGIF , YUMM.

2010-09-13T23:55:00.001+08:00

TGIF .

mmmm-mmm. yummy-yummyumm. mmmmmmmmmmmmm ~

i just finished dinner at TGIF. it was awesome man. (: i love the food , the ambience , the waiters and the restaurant. the waiters are just so friendly they make me feel at home (: we celebrated daddy's belated birthday over there. when we were ordering , we only ordered 3 main course for 5 person cause we were all x that hungry. but we ended up with 6 types of food on the table. the waiter gave us 2 free kid's snack plates althou my sis and i obviously looks too old to be twelve. lol. we got free buffalo wings from the lucky draw for ordering a beef steak. we had , a beef steak , beef ribs , chicken with barbeque sauce salad , chicken fingers snack plate , fish & chips snack plate and buffalo wings. yummy. while we were eating , a waiter came and ask if there's anyone's birthday today , dad say there was none but his was on the 9 of sept . the waiter happily said , ohh , i'll give you free dessertrs. it's okayy. and we were like , he like giving free things to us hor. lol. dad was asked to give a speech and then sing a love song to mum. awww , super sweet (: we had a awesome night at TGIF and i bet dad enjoyed his birthday dinner too. (: ps ; i think the waiter is into my second sis. lol.

buffalo wings (:

pineapple sunshine.

lemonade (:

beef steak.

chicken with barbeque sauce salad.

beef ribs .

a happy dad (:

sweet & loving :DD

just a simple photograph i took of second sis.

with love ;

natt.

CRUMPLER , CRUMPLER.

2010-09-13T20:39:00.002+08:00

monstaaaa. :DD

daddy and eldest sis came back from vietnam last night at about 3 plus. yeeea. was super happy. (: sis bought me two faber-castell's pen from vietnam and i was like ; wth. i can get this in malaysia man. then she replied ; i bought it from johor and brought it to vietnam and brought it back here and give it to you. -.- i was like , fineee! thank you. .___. daddy was better (: he bought me a CRUMPLER HANDPHONE POUCH (: i decided to take the black one as i like black more. he bought second sis a CRUMPLER SLING BAG. awww , im jealous , NOT. hahaha! they bought some titbits from viet too. the most awesome one was the jackfruit crisps. (: yumm-yumm !! aku love it. (: after that , my family was so tired they retired to bed. i was the only one awake and i watched PS MAN . (: awesome. 5 more episodes and im gonna finish it. i slept at 5.10 am. like o.o . i have no bass lessons today cause i switch with my friend cause im going out to have my daday's belated birthday dinner. (: weee! we're going to TGIF . :DD and also thank you to my dearest bastard and slut for accompanying me the whole night on the phone. i love you guys. ~~let them stab us , cause it's their hobby.~~ hahahhaa! we'll continue smiling and piss them off their feet. (: BASTARD , BITCH & SLUT ; BEST SIBLINGS !

pictures ;

crumpler handphone pouch. (:

crumpler sling bag. (:

faber-castell pens. -.-

jackfruit crisps.

with love ;

natt.

stab stab STAB .

2010-09-12T23:03:00.000+08:00

you say you're okay , but what you post on facebook really do hurts. to you , do guys matter more than girl friends ? to me ; girl friends matter more. its up to what you think. backstab me all you want. i really x wanna bother anymore , stab all you want , im sick of all. IDIOTIC piece of SHIEET.

terjun , terjun , TERJUN.

2010-09-12T22:54:00.000+08:00

DIVE !!

( credits ; google )

weeeeee. today was kinda awesome (: hahaha. had lomaikai for brunch , watermelon similu and asam laksa for tea-break , then sis treat mum and me to pizza hut then we had dinner cooked by mum. it was a day full of food . (: sis was so bored she erased what she drew behind my phone and drew a new picture of a tortoise. its cute (: hahahahahaha. sis and me made each a birthday card for our dad and my is shaped like a briefcase . but it was kinda like a failure attempt. ): never mind. ts he thought that counts (: can't wait for daddy and eldest sis to be back from vietnam tonight (: ahhh. i miss daddy so muchhy. he's coming back tonight ohh , he's coming back (: hahahhaa. i wish tomorrow's plan to watch ~~grown ups & phua chu kang~~ , i mean STEP-UP 3& VAMPIRES SUCK will go wel. jeeez. im watching ; DIVE!! on OKTO now. it's so nice.

aku ~~suka~~ CINTA KENTO HAYASHI !

DIVE !! ROCKS [[:

BIMM BAM BONGGG.

2010-09-11T17:35:00.003+08:00

ginger tea. (:

(credits ; photobucket )

i had an awesome night with mum and sis yesterday. we weren't even asleep till 3 plus at dawn. (: we watched ps man using laptop in mum's room as she said she couldn't sleep. lol. but after watching awhile , she said she was tired and say she want to sleep. so , sis and me went back to our room. that's when sis complain of having a very bloaty stomach even after eating medicine. so i went down to make her a cup of ginger tea. (: its a very good remedy for bloated stomach. just slice some ginger and boil it then add in brown sugar , and its done. simple and easy. after it was ready i gave it to her , and she drank it and she couldn't finish it so i end up drinking for her. and it makes me sweat even in an air-conditioned room. i burbed so loudly i could feel my lungs vibrating but my sis just let out a small burb. but al least she's feeling better now :] lol. this afternoon sis was bored of studying so she ended up drawing on my phone , hmmmm. it looks quite nice and i couldn't bear to rub it off. so i left it there. my mum thought we were bonkers but i said no one cn steal my phone this way. lol. i love it when sis is back in jb with me. she just makes me smile like a two year old kid along with her. (: im also currently indulged into reading books ; storybooks . lol. current book : MY SISTER'S KEPER. well , it's a nice story and i like it very much . so tuching that i can hug my pillow and cry ; over reacting. lol. well , i really recommend you reaing it. it's very nice . just plain awesomeness. (: just realise sometimes we should be real hankful with our life and not complain about it. life can be simple and complicated ; it's how you think that matters. okayy , im off to church. stay tuned for more each day ♥

drawings on my phone ; by audrey jiee.

with love ;

★NATT.

TIKK-TOKK.

2010-09-10T22:59:00.003+08:00

im a HAPPY GIRL. (:

i deactivated my facebook for the time being to avoid being spam back. hahahhahaa! yeaa. life without facebook can be simplified into one word ; PLAIN BORED ! GEEEZ. as for the reasons my facebook is deactivated is like thousands and thousands. hahahaa. anyway , I WILL BE BACKK ! wait for me (: but beware of my spamming. hahahaha. as for holidays so far. its great. except for the fact that i only went out for badminton oncee. .___. its funn. but now , my hand hurts as it has been so long since i last played badminton. ahhh. SALONPAS to the rescue ? (: hahahha! i guess for the only available connection way to me is by my little humble cottage or my non stop vibrating *ringg ringg* heh [: yeapp , just last week i got back my results for my examm &&&... the only reason im happy for the exam this time round is because i passed all my subjects for the time being. lol. HISTORY OHH HISTORY , PLEASEEEE GIVE ME AT LEAST A B+. lol. too demanding i know. lol. .__. but life has always been like that ain't it. lol. ohh ya , my sexxayy 2nd sis is back in jaybeee (: aku happy to see her ehh. lol. she bought back some GUMMY BEARS for meee (: awwww , AKU CINTA DIA BYK BYK ★ HAHHAHAHAA!gummy bears are awesome , so is she (: heh. suddenly i have a bad craving for MCD GCB. hmm. who wanna treat me ?? lol. im insane. lol. okayy. for now on , im gonna love my blogg and keep it up to date.

written by ,

★natt .

cheer up , cheer on!

2010-08-03T21:04:00.004+08:00

smile like nobody's business & move on !

this few days , i've been acting over emo i guess. ): maybe , my problem wasn't even a problem to begin with . with more problems by my side and more serious than mine . hmm. maybe after what a certain friend said to me that her prob was more worst than ours , i wasn't certain of it until i know part of her problems. now i realise that my problem could be solved easily yet hers weren't easy at all. maybe , i shouldn't be so selfish and just think bout my own problems but show more concern to more serious matters around me that i x realise. hmm. i guess , my problem is only what my heart makes it to be. im x angry or what , it's just that you x expect me to act like nothing happen and talk to the other party right ? i just need time to cool down. im okay already. seriously , believe me . now , i need to use my time to cheer on others who are even suffering more than me. (: guys , you all need to buck up and cheer yourself on even more , cause x one can help you except yourself. you need to overcome it with all your strength and x be defeated by that minor problem that occur . there's always a solution to any problem. as the saying goes , WHEN THERE'S A WILL , THERE'S A WAY. (:

i'll always be there for you guys (:

any problem ,

im just a text or a phone call away.

anything for you guys kay! :DD

CHEER UP , CHEER ON !

im x angry with you ,

it's just that ,

i blame my own eyes for all,

maybe , im too petty. ):

(:

2010-08-01T17:37:00.003+08:00

im gonna smile and forget it.

it's x my wrong , why should be sad or even scared of meeting them ?

lol. just laugh it off. (:

im happy and well.

i love life , so , those trying to spoil my life ,

oh , just scram off.

or you may come to be , i'll be glad to know which idiot you are.

hate me all you want , cause I X LIKE YOU EITHER.

MUMMY

2010-05-09T22:58:00.003+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY , MUMMY !

i love you mummy , forever.

you're the best thing in my life ,
always being by my side to accompany me ,
always chauffering me all around ,
always making me smile ,
always cooking wonderful delicacies ,
always being the to lend me a listening ear ,
always stay strong and going on for me.

you meant alot to me ,
no matter what you are going thru mummy ,
i will always stand by you the way you always stand by me. (:

i hope you like the present i give you and the present daddy and sisters give you.
you must go on strong cause we believe that you can do it ,
and we will always stand by your side giving you support ,
forever , no matter what. (:

I LOVE YOU , MY DEAREST MUMMY!

2010-05-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

http://www.theclickshop.net/

im gonna get one camera from here someday! (:

nat nat nat (:

2010-04-19T21:01:00.002+08:00

grats to natho (:
he won the 'Favourite Male Character' on last night star awards. (:
i love him , and will continue to support him. (:

ps : i won't be dropping by often , exams nearing. ):

bye ,

2010-04-17T19:52:00.002+08:00

this post is for kitt gor ,

bye bye lo. you're gone from jb , without saying bye to me.
you evil jie gor.
but never mind , just a few advice for you ,

you're gonna be on your own from now ,
so , just be independent and you can do it.
contact me more and ,
when you come back ,
must belanja me lehh. (:
cheer and you'll be fine. (:

from ,

natt mei. (:

injured once again ,

2010-04-15T22:50:00.004+08:00

i , natalie tan , injured my leg (twisted the ankle) at the form four one step stair today.
and ,
its plain STUPIDITY. ):

and ,
we had fire drill today , and guess what ,
teacher expect me to run with a injured , twisted leg .
WTH !

& ,
i can't upload the images from my phone. ):

AND ,
THANK YOU LIM JUN WEI DARLING & JENNIFER LAOGONG !
thank you for helping me treat my injuries till its better. (:
i LOVE you two ! (:

& ,
peishi , im sorry to upset you that i can't upload the pictures. paiseh*

NATT'S LEG IS HURTING AND SHE CAN'T WALK PROPERLY. ):

circumstances ,

2010-04-13T21:36:00.004+08:00

i seriously don't know what's going on man, my life seems so topsy-turvy now.
eveything doesn't seem in place.
last night , i just teared and i just had to let it out. cause if i don't i don't know what will happen.
er jie went back to kl and that means im alone. and i feel so stressed up at school. i x wanna be in science stream anymore. its so stressing. ):
sometimes , i just don't understand why must there be so many obstacles when im just trying to lead a simple and happy life. i may have change but its the circumstances that changed me. i x wanna change , but i have to grow up cause im 16 and i must grow up and not be a willy-wally baby anymore.
i just smile on the outside , but frankly , deep down , im suffering.
soon , it will breakdown , one by one.
but im a strong girl , i must be one.
im gonna go through this and come out as a all new grown up 16 year old.
i have to be strong and not a weakling , i have to.

when circumstances come into your way , use it as a chance to grow up , not a chance to give in and lose hope.

maybe i really have to do so.
i gotta wipe all my tears and face what's prepared in font of me.
im going on , going on , till the day i truly breakdown.

dear lord ,

would please help me get through this ordeal and just be by my side ,

i lay my trust in you and i will never waive away.

i will continue to trust in you for you are a marvelous god.

i thank you for everything you have given to me.

amen.

life ,

2010-04-07T18:16:00.003+08:00

i need to grow up ,
if that's the case ,
i'll have to ,
stop being a childish person ,
stop acting like a freak ,
stop babbling nonsense ,
stop grumbling with little hard work ,
stop getting people into trouble ,
stop playing nonsense ,
stop being dilly-dally ,
stop laughing out loud when i shouldn't ,
stop being such a bully ,
stop complaining .

but isn't it what makes me , ME ?
why must things be so complicated?

''strive on to be what you want to be''

):

2010-04-06T20:29:00.003+08:00

bahboom, (:
im back. lol. like no one view so , it doesn't make any difference. lol.
i shiok sendiri enough lar. hahaha!
well , had our class photo taken today and i guess it sucks cause i had to sit in front. ):
i don't like , but its gonna be fine.
other than our class photos , we took lots of other photos too.
had lots of fun. (:
well , luckily during chem , i managed to answer her question or else , i'll be dead. cause frankly , idk how to calculate. lol.
we also got to know our ranking in class today , got no. 11.
well , at least im in the top 15. be glad and thank god.

but why,
does it never seem enough to her ?
maybe , cause im never reaching he standards & i suck.

the person we are not happy with is YOU.

because you lied.

we just hope you x do it again or we'll report this matter up.

be responsible and accept what your results is.

frankly , its never enough ,

i feel so lefted out and unwanted.

you.

2010-04-04T00:04:00.003+08:00

i just want you by my side but i can't have you there.

how i wish you would be there always,

nii. (:

2010-04-03T23:58:00.001+08:00

happy 17th birthday to dearie nii! (:
i love you. <3

2010-04-03T23:55:00.002+08:00

had badminton for 3 hours straight yesterday morning.
bones about to scatter.

today:
went for mssj u-15 netball competition to do qm duty. woahh. i must say that all competitors are wonderful. hahaha! lol. especially jb.
hey scored 42-9. woahh. hahaha!

party !

2010-03-28T19:04:00.003+08:00

the girls (: , guys help us take ! (:

had a blasting filled time at Amerlyn's with yvonne , michelle , grace , tian peng , anson , 'one more time' & adrian yesterday. (: did not regret going at all. haha! it was a BBQ party actually but we bbq for only awhile and went off to the park in a auto bicycle! O.o was so cool. yuwen drove me over there and we screamed like siao. haha! we played so many things over there and bought some food from house to there to , but ended up it got licked by some idiotic cats and we didn't know. me and yvonne ate edy only adrisn told us , we were like 'wth! ' and we went and puke it all out. hahaha! then we went and take pics at the court. haahahaha! and we went back to the house and played the 10 WORDS game. lol. it was funny , ultra funny , hahaha! i want to go to more paties at Amer's. hahaha! (:

sometimes ,

2010-03-23T22:25:00.003+08:00

sometimes ,

i just wish that i could have that someone to walk up to me &...

hug me and give me a little peck on my head.

just when i needed him to be there.

friends ?

2010-03-21T20:04:00.003+08:00

seiously , recently alot of things changed. from january till now.

after reading someone's blog , i really realise that something as missing from my life . that very thing that i once had. actually what was missing was the laughter , the happiness , the randomness , the silliness , the fun , the playfulness and more that was once present in our 'gang'. we used to joke about just anything under the sun , practically everything. i didn't know starting from when , everyone just go on with life with their own new friends and just treat that sitting together during recess as a daily routine done. but to some of us , it carries precious memories of each and every moment we spent together as a gang. but did it ever cross any of our minds that if we could just sit and be there for each another. just laugh and joke around , share our problems , chat about anything under the sun , have fun and just be like last time.

just remember those times we wak to cs and talked together. remeber those times we share our problems with each other. remember those times when we waited for everone before going to the bus stop. remember those times we eat and talked at the mamk opposite our school. remember those times we took photos together as a gang. remember those times we nearly miss our buses because we were playing the lamest games. remember those times we sit in the middle of the field and play. remember those times we use to gather together and play , eat and talk. rmemeber those times we watched movies together. remember those times we had small quarrels but our relationship became stronger and we change our bad points. remember we stood in the rain to take pictures. remember we always use water bottles to splash each other wet. remember the times that we always give each other surprises on their birthdays.

remember those good days ? do any of you still remember ? why does it seem to disappear out of sudden ?
i don't want to see anyhing bad happen . could we just sit down together and sort thngs out and just get back to those tmes?

i realy miss those times. i wish we were back then.

where are the mischievious , playful , caring , thoughtful , amazing young teenagers i once knew?

camp 2010 (:

2010-03-20T22:46:00.006+08:00

just came back from jc radix camp '1o last tuesday.

i was real tired that i could lie on my sofa and just drop dead. lol. but i didn't. haha! seriously , i learned alot from e camp lar. the presence of the holy spirit and God was there. i guess all that joined the camp could sense that strong presence. i was real glad that i went to the camp lar. althought at first didn't wanted to go. (:

the camp speaker for this year is PASTOR CLEMENT . he was a humourous and powerful speaker. he is a real joker. (: i will always remember most of his jokes start with 'ONE DAY...'. lol.

all of us had fun during the whole camp. lol. especially at the pool side (:

i just want to thank God for making me go , not an accident but its as thou he wanted to speak to me during e camp. i also thank the commitees for giving their all to make us feel at home and make sure we had fun. i also thank my room mates (avelyn , katherine , dora ,vincy) for always giving in to me. i also thank pastor clemnt for every sermon he preach. & i thank everyone for their endurance over me.

now , a few pictures to share (:

cam-whored along the way to melaka in e bus.

at the yong peng stop. the bus tyre bursted and we were stuck in the place for like 2 hours plus. kinda torturing as the weather was soarching hot.

cam-whore in our room at D'VILLAGE HOTEL , chalet.

photos on the last day of camp , before returning to jb.

camp book & name tag. (:

that's all for e camp post. photos are all on facebook.

ps: im lazy to upload pics on cny.

2010-02-27T16:54:00.002+08:00

sports day is over , exams are coming like a super fast shooting rocket.
monday is exam. shitt ! i haven't even study and i'll be glad if i x fail. (:
but GOD bless me , maybe everyone.
and i think , this is gonna be tough obstacle to pass , cause idk the format and everything.
my physics suck to the core and i kinda regret studying in science stream but i have to continue on. ): what nonsense !
i will update on cny and sports day sfter exams. maybe , maybe not. depends.
im sick and tired of everything. how i wish i could graduate like RIGHT NOW!

you : sucks. that's the reason.

cny , cny

2010-02-19T00:27:00.001+08:00

cny cny cny!
hahaha! kinda fun. hahaha!
went to kuantan and now kl.
update later. hahaha! pictures are still in my phone-yy!
im so in love with the swimming pool , swimming pool.
i miss the resort pool at kuantan.
i actually forgot to ask the girl and guy their names. lol.
great people! hope we get to meet again. if we're fated.
and we can pool fight again. but not to injured the guy with nails. hhahahaha!

stay tuned.... for more!

broken.

2010-02-12T21:29:00.004+08:00

could troubles really fly away with bubbles? i hope it could.
then it would take all my frustrations and trobles away with one blow and 'popp!' ,
all is gone.

lots of things happened recently and i don't want to talk bout it.
today , encik azmi's farewell was held. all of us had tears rolling down our cheeks during the whole farewell. most of us tried to prevent ourselves from tearing out but in the end we failed. ):
it was really a big loss to the school and us as we lose a real good teacher.
seriously , he's a great teacher and despite how noisy or naughty i were , he ner failed to be patient with me and my friends.
i miss all thosem times we were in 3C joking around while learning our geography.
he was also always teaching me my gepgraphy at the eleventh hour before exams.
and it was thanks to him that i got an A in geography. i really want to express my gratitude to him but i could describe it in words.
he is the best teacher and he never fails to say 'MJJ (ting yi)' whenever he come into class.
encik azmi , i will miss you alot and thank you for being there for all of us . (:

&&&&&& at the same time .
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LITTLE CUTE , TAN JIA TING!
hahaha! wish you all the best and may you 'zao shen gui zi'. lol. jokingg. stay cute and be the little cheerleader of st. micheal. (:

me me me me me ,,,,
life is tough for me now.
stressed up with studies and being troubled by lots of stuffs.

physics - idk how to do & i serioudly dk why i don't understand. biology - at least i still can understand. chemistry - mole?? hard. add maths - still can cope but i'll have to memorise my formulas. maths - YAWNNs. sej - haven't even finish one chapter. hais.

tell me what should i do.
cny is round the corner but why ain't i feeling the joy.
valentine's day? i just simply don't like that day. ):
homework is stacking up like crazy and exams are coming fast at me. ):
goshh. i just need more time.
at the urge of breaking down , yet no one is there to support me.
i just can't hide my emotons anymore. i know i've change. to a person that you'll start to hate. but its not what i want. just try walking in my shoes. you'll understand why i become like this.
I HATE MYSELF ; FOR BEING AND IDIOT. USELESS. STUPID PERSON.

im sorry to everyone whom i scolded or just say words that hurts to you.
i just don't know where to stop neither do i know what to do.

BUDDY ; you said you'll be by my side. but when i need you , you turned your back on me. i just cant hope for anything more. just a little more care and concern will do.

BLACK FACE ; i don't understand anything between us. we're drifting spart. maybe we just need time to calm down. you're hot-headed , so am i. refusing to give in to each other. i really can't do anything anymore. i know i suck but ..... it's all because i couldn't accept the fact. if you were me , you won't be able too. just take this time to reconsider and tell me what's your end decision. i can't go on like this anymore. it's hurting not just you but me.

im dishearted &
i just want someone to understand &
be by me when i breakdown &
hold me tightly not letting me fall.
but that's impossible ain't it.

life's up and down (:

2010-01-27T20:43:00.002+08:00

okayy, i have x update for a long time so i guess i'll just drop by to keep this blog alive. lol.
and im happy recently. i guess.
most probably is because im getting my new phone today (:
nokia 5230 , preferbaly white. (:
my eldest sis chosed the colour. lol.
im so gonna take good care of it and cherish it. hahaha!

touchscreen , touchscreen.
its just plain cool. lol.
hahahahahahhahahaha!
jun wei , jun wei!! i think i really got 'jing shen fen lie zhen' . lol.
hahaha! i wanna 'sai' big worm. hahaha!
i love my neighbours in class , they make me laugh like crazy. (:
love you guys! you guys rock!

p/s : i gtg. add maths homework is still piled up and untouched. = DIE !

babby ,

im sorry i can't acc you alot kay.

but i <3>

and i miss you.

5230 (:

2010-01-18T20:42:00.003+08:00

i changed my mind. hahaha!
i want to buy nokia 5230 now. (:
its like super nice. and its touch screen and cheap! hahaha!
but don't know want white or black. lol.

black or white?

i think im falling sick soon man. ):

having sandy throat and voice like a man's.

flu's knocking at my door.

tired and exhausted .

and you'll x understand.

i put up a strong front to stop you from worrying.

cause ilessthanthreeyou.

jogathon , two zero one two (:

2010-01-16T21:52:00.004+08:00

woahh , jogathon and carnival is over!
lol. i guess everyone is like uber burnt right? cause im like pinkish black now , and i guess i'll turn into a black charcoal in two days time. sad. ):
i don't want. now , i regret staying in the sun for so long.
lol. but bother , its over.
took lotsa pics today , but all x with me cause my sucky phone is dead! officially.
i wanna buy the C901! i want !
while waiting for the runners to come back , we took lots of pics! hahahahaha!
and while felicia was ticking the students attendance , manda and i was taking pics like crazy beside of her. hahaha! she was like -.-
hahaha! after that , yi xiang , jun shien , jun wei , jun wen and cousin came.
hahaha! Will came like super duper late. when everyone is claering the things. hahaha!
went to cs after that and had lunch. haha! SUMMER is always so ymmmy! (:
i want to open Summer too. hahahha! can eat everyday.
after lunch , went to cousin's shop too get books. hahaha ! parents reached earlier than we did cause we boarded the bus late cause cousin wanted to take a look at bags in FOS.
haha! then we went to his shop and we chit chatted on the bus ! miss those times so much. (:
hahahahaha! after that , i finally got $$ from him. hahaha! lol. now , he's broke. lol.
sorry cous! but i wanna buy phone so need $$ ! hahah!
after that , went back home . was uber tired and i ter-slept in the car. hahaha!
and i actually refused to get down the car. hahaha!
when i reached home , my sis reaction was :

sis : woahh , you look like a monkey.
me : huh? monkey ? why?
sis : your face so red and pinkish. and you are black.
me : am i ? my friends say no leh.
sis : you don't believe go look at mirror yourself la. *giggles*
me : okay. i will.

and outcome , i look like a baboon ass! fac like super black + pink.
but it wasn't pain until after i bathed. woahhhh , pain like siao.
now still pain. ):
but overall, it was fun. (:
i enjoyed it , and i guess the people who went enjoyed too. (:

now , pictures (:

before start.

while the people are running to end.

when felicia was ticking names. lol.

me and lil smelly egg mei (:

after duty end. (:

during carnival . funny faces !

guess who ? lol.

happy family (:

(im super big compared to her. lol)

our piggyback + photosession. lol .

me and deaie nii (:

lastly , i present to you :

my uber duper sun burnt face !

taa-dahh ! (lol. not quite obvious cause my phone lousy!)

ps // only partially of pics here.

rest at others there. upload next time (:

end of the day! taaaa!

week analysis?

2010-01-15T21:50:00.005+08:00

taken after hair cut. random shot.

one week went pass in a giffy. like 'brooommmmm..' and one week is over. lol.
but this wee was kinda fun.hahaha!
cause we didn't study alot and we did lotsa things. cause jogathon's & carnival is coming up. hahaha! ITS TOMORROW (16012010).

we drew our class banner on 14012010 and spent only like two hours on it. hahaha! kudos to YEONG CHYI , PEI SHI , JUN WEI AND ME. hahaha! as we rushed it out. and yeong chyi was like super pro to draw most of the things. hahaha!

halfway thru the drawing.

finished!

some parts of the banner i like most! (:

and today , 15012010 , we finished colouring our banner in just a limit of three hours !!
i thought we couldn't make it man. but we did it ! thanks guys for helping out. you guys rocks.
big thank you to ; yeong chyi , jun wei , pei shi , jia ting , wai mun , yee hui , yee hung , christelle , jen yee , cassandra , man lin & more. ( sorry , too many that i forgot. lol)
and its done. but i think im most pathetic as im covered in all paints. ): luckily i managed to wash them off. lol.
well , wanna have a look at the coloured banner ?
TURN UP ON 16012010 TO SEE. (:
WHERE? SMK IJ CONVENT'S CARNIVAL.
TIME ? 8 AM - 2PM.

SEE YOU THERE!

went to pelangi with DEARIE and swee ann and steph after school. went and eat.
after that sis and parents suddenly pooped up and gave me a shock!
hahaha! went to cut my hair (finally). and i got rid of my dangling bangs! like super happy.
i look like a kiddo now. hahaha! x more aunty look? hahahah!

HAHA! I KINDA LIKE MY NEW BANGS ! (: lol.

LBF , I MISS YOU!

2010-01-13T00:08:00.001+08:00

today was super tiring man.

new phonee!

2010-01-11T18:09:00.003+08:00

i wanna get a new phone.

need one badly sial. my nokia 5300 is totally spoilt. ):

i wanna get SE C901. like super nice can.

but its kinda expensive. bout rm825-rm850.

hope to get at cheaper price. i want one.

hope can get one before chinese new year or maybe before sports day!

i want one. its nice , nice ,NICE!

my wish this year is to get this C901. (:

i think i'll either want the peach pink or black one. like super class.

PEACH PINK IS NICER! but x sure la. hahahaa!

picture , picture , PICTURE :

front and side view.

screen and back view.

2010-01-10T11:14:00.002+08:00

first week of schooling ended.
im decided to stay in science stream instead of transfering to pa stream. O.o
will i regret? well . who knows. im sure i'll study hard to score and not drop my water face.
jogathon's coming up next , so is carnival. and TERESA TRAINING.
i wonder what drama is gonna happen. lol. BOTHER!
i'll just have fun and sweat it out.

mum's sick. ):
i hope she recover quickly. cause i x like mummy being sick.
makes me feel sick too.
mummy , please get well soon and lame with me .
i love you.

i choose this path and i shall walk it ,

with smiles and not sadness.(:

i believe i can , at least i try.

bye peepholes !
me love you all byk2.

the new live.

2010-01-02T17:21:00.003+08:00

okayy , here im to retrieve my blog back to life.
i know its a new year and yeapp , nothing new is up recently.
recently , life's dull. idk why. just like a plain piece of paper. blank and white.
been at home all day , doing nothing not even touching my mobile.
as in as usual , texting the whole day. im like so so bored.
went and watch avatar yesterday night with my family and one word , FASCINATING.

i wish i were blue ,
i wish i had a tail ,
i wish i could be like neytiri ,
i wish i could be a na'vi ,
i wish there is this planet pandorum ,
i wish the plants here were like there's ,
i wish i had a dream come true.

i rate 4.5/5 for the show.
0.5 is deducted cause most of the hero , heroine died. ):
but overall , its a muxt watch.
the next show i wanna watch is THE VAMPIRE'S ASSISTANT.
and alvin and the chipmucks 2 and sherlock holmes. (:
date me people. or i'll rot like dead at home.

school's starting in two days.
i haven't made up my mind whether to go to science stream or pa stream.
maybe i should really hand it to god to decice for me cause im totally in a dilema.
school's starting and i ralise i have no bag , no pencil box , no pens , no stationaries , no school uniform , no badges , no name tag , no shoes , no socks , anyway , name it and i have nothing for school.

i think someone is scolding me now cause my ears itch. like alot.
i wanna grow up soon so , i x need to go to school and x need to worry bout unnessasary things. x need to think bout anything.

i just wanna be me , not the person others want of me.

someone once quoted this :

i must be able to accept myself for who im ,

before people accepts me for who im .

quoted by , unknown.

bye bye buh !

2009-12-30T18:28:00.003+08:00

HELLO. (:
imback.
from trip and sickness.
now im all well , expect my nose is dropping off.
and now , im lazy to update.
so , LITTLE BLACK FACE , you say there's xthing bout you ,
so , HERE'S SOMETHING FOR YOU.
your name. (:
i hereby announce that ,
MY BLOG IS DEAD.
thank you for coming to its funeral. bye!

.

2009-12-12T23:18:00.002+08:00

im gonna be okay.

i guess so?

):

2009-12-11T22:26:00.001+08:00

putting up a front to show that im not breaking down easily.
learning to be the strong one people expect me to be.
but no matter how strong im , i still need a shoulder to lean on when im exhausted.
now , im totally exhausted. ):
from everything.

101209

2009-12-10T21:41:00.003+08:00

today work was quite bad.

i woke up this morning and i realize that i somehow don't know how i sprained my leg.

now , im walking like a cripple.

one side got injury , onw side sprained. ):

both sides hurts alot. ):

i didn't get to sell anything today also. ):

boss ain't that happy too. ):

i feel so bad but nvm , last few days of free lancing. (:

no $$ edy lor .

all salary give to mum ady. ): i want a pair of ew shoes. i want!

i'll marry anyone who buy me one pair of everlast. (:

cheh ~ just kidding. lol.

recently , i feel that im so not me.

would you rather know what happen or not to know?

after knowing , i suffered.

but if it's kept from me forever , i'll hate that person who knew and not told me.

but now , im suffering.

ain't able to sleep well and im utterly tired.

everything seems to have changed too.

be it me or the things. maybe , i should just listen to jie.

): suffering what i shouldn't be.

8.12.09

2009-12-08T18:19:00.002+08:00

slept till 1.03pm this morning. like super tired can!
i think i won't wake up if mum didn't call. hahaha!
felt as thou im dead. hahaha!
was super moody last night due to some reasons.
it just feel so weird ):
but im okay now. maybe i shouldn't think so much like sis suggested.
im tired ):

tomoro gonna free lance again. (:
super nice being a free lancer now (: work when people call only. heh!
woots! got more $$ to spend. but recently , i've been spending too much. ):
spend like over 120 bucks over a time of four days. gosh!!
reduce , reduce , REDUCE! and that felicia heng keep bugging me to buy her the bag. hahaha!
never mind. (: i'll buy cause you're my bbbbb! (:
loveee!

waiting for salary now. gonna take it tomoro and leave it to my mum to save.
or else i'll be super broke during e trip.
but i wanna buy lotsa stuff. haha!

-till here-
talalabong.

birthday bash (:

2009-12-07T18:10:00.002+08:00

first of all ,

happy birthday to FELICIA laogong aka bbbbbbb (:

hahaha! we went out early in the morning or afternoon to catch a movie and go shopping (:
we went to the arcade and play first , the kids one. and im so paise lor.. only score 30 points for e bkb shooting machine. =.=
and that felicia heng went round telling people. paise leh.. hahaha! but never mind. as long as we had fun . hahaha!
then met up junwen and peishi and her cousin. we went and watch JUMP . a new movie and laughed all the way. hahaha! quite a nice movie. the girl dance like super pro !!! i wanna learn also. (:
then we went to the adult arcade and play. hahaha! while playing the bkb machine , hahaha! i changed place with junwen cause i can't pass. hahaha! funny!
after that met up with jan , manda and harn. (:
then something cropped up and i sttled it for feli. (:
went to badminton. and played with an injured leg. the yubei and cindy joined. (:
then went for steamboat.
then feli got a shock cause edlyn turned up. hahaha!
she say she went to muar. hahaha!
i got a shock too when thay gave me a cake and present and card. (:
thanks guys! love it (:
that's all (:

work ends , holidays come !

2009-12-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

end of working life. (:

yeapp , finally ! my working life is over.

now , im gonna enjoy my holidays (:

hahaha! i have lotsa things to do and buy. hahaha!

especially a new sweater. hahahhaa!

frankly , i plan to bring 5 jackets + sweaters to e trip. hahaha!

im kisiao liao. lol. bother!

im afraid of cold so , a few more jackets won't kill. hahaha! i plan to steal people's jacket too. (:

hahaha! okayy , im tired out from laughing with the people opposite and beside my stall.

and i wanna retire to bed (:

On this day, God wants you to know...
... that it is time to finally forgive yourself. You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has to come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about it.

-how true . maybe i should just let go and let god do everything he wants in my life. (:

-till here -

-sleepy head to bed -

03.12.09

2009-12-03T23:53:00.002+08:00

went to work early in the morning today. like very awkward lor. hahaha!
but that's a job with a good pay (:
im gonna be rich if i got a job like this everyday. hahahaa! sit down there and go shopping then get pay. how wonderful (: i wish for more jobs like this. hahaha!
gonna work again tomoro. im tired ): luckily i have little raven as company. (:
guessing who's little raven? hahaha! its my IPOD (: yeapp , its back to life. (:
i finally charged it. (: im so gonna buy rocky tomoro and crunch on it all day (:
let's hope sales will be fine tomoro. (: lovee!

somehow , i just feel a part of me is just like missing.
somehow , it just doesn't get back to how i used to be.
a part of me seems missing and i can't find it back neither could i try to mend it.

okayy , i'll blog till here for today. need to tidur!

haha! lovee , stay tuned. (:

02.12. 2009

2009-12-02T21:46:00.002+08:00

went out with will and junwen today.
watched new moon. not quite fascinating -.-
lalalala~ then met jie while jw went back , walked and laughed.
went playing around.
end of day.
im working tomoro at jusco. hahaha!
part time for two days. (:
yipeee! which means more money to spend. or maybe to payback mum. heh!
________________________________________________________

maybe i know that if i made that decision , things would be different now.
but i know it's too late to regret.
maybe from the start , its just a mistake.
life is always full with regrets.
if only i could turn time back. ):

im counting down for BFF's birthday (:

1.12.2009

2009-12-01T18:57:00.003+08:00

yesterday , was the saddest day for me.
as it was my last day of work. and seriously , im sad ot cause of the workers at my own work place. but those working at boston , ladbrinth , sweet and casual and etc.
gonna miss the times that i hang out and just play traunt at their shops.
I MISS YOU PEOPLE. and yeapp , i must remember that i owe you guys some belanja-ing.
hahaha !

oh yaa , and to dearie nii :

HAPPY 7TH MONTHSARY TO US ! (:

yeapp , its our seventh month (30th november) edy. time flies without us knowing.
haha! seriously , there has been hard times between us but i guessed we overcomed it together , not by anything but by trusting each other. i know tat right from the start , i hadn't been open but i promised you that i won't be from now on. not hiding anything from you cause you are my sister. (; i treasure you alot and i know you treasure me too. there are times when i really don't know what to say or talk , so , do forgive me as im not that good in sweet talking or comforting people. but you , are my comfort. (: cause whenever i see you , a smile just appear on my face be it whether im sad or broken on the inside. seeing you makes me feel all glad. (:
and , I LOVE YOU DEARIE , i really do (:

im jobless now. ): hahahaa! but im glad , cause it means x more panda eyes. been sleeping real late and waking real early during my working days. tiring !
sometimes , i just wished that money jus drops from trees. then i won't have to earn my keep.
i hate holidays cause it means :

spend money without any pocket money.

ya. that's my equation for holidays. lol.
i think this time , after getting my salary , im gonna ask my mum to keep it all for me in case it gets stolen again and i'll have to suffer again. sometimes , while sitting alone , i do remember some things in the past. well , no matter how , things has to go on. i just hope you get on with life to the fullest and not by faking it out. well , im crapping. lalala~
i just enjoy my times spent with lotsa people at jusco. they are great (: fun playmates. maybe , sometimes overdo it. haha! went to shoot basketballs when im suppose to be working. hahaa!
and yeapp , i learned alot of things and im glad i had a chance to get this great experience. haha!

now , as im not working , im very much indulged into a show / drama. its like , ohh so wonderful. haahaahaha! watching THE VAMPIRE DIARIES all day. hahahaa! not all day la , cause it only has a few episodes. you'll have to wait for it as it oonly shows one episode per month in america.
its a great show. maybe a lot differ from the book. but the book rocks. i wanna borrow the second book . anyone has it??

yeapp , im going out tomoro. with cousin and friend. to watch NEW MOON.
hahha! although i heard from my sis that its not that good. hahah! but i insist on watching it in the movies. lol. its gonna be fun cause it has been months since i last get to hang out with my dearest cousin. and i miss him so much. lol! how i wish time would not pass so fast. ):
then everything maybe could had been different. la, whatever. tired and sick of everything. now , y phone is giving me probs. can't detect signal from my sim card. others then can. what the heck!! pissed off.

suddenly i realized that ionly had 17 more days to pack up before the trip. and i have lots of shoppings to do. i don't even have a luggage. like WOWW! im waiting for some humans to give me. hahaa! lol. i wanna bring tons and tons of rocky. (: i love rocky!!! yum-yumm. wanna buy rocky into the movies tomoro. (: i think i need lotsa jackets during the trip too. so , knd hearted people , give me yours. (:

hahahaa! i need to buy some clothes. hahahaa!
okayy , i wish my salary come out soon (:
till hee. tata!
a bit long arr this post and messy. hhaha!

camp!

2009-11-28T23:36:00.002+08:00

im back ! lol. (:
went to CF CAMP '09 yesterday. (:
super tiring one lehh. tired , tired ,TIRED!
was quite fun la. but not that fun compared as the other years. lol.
i was in NASI BERIANI group. i was like 'goshh , i cofirm lose. cheer so hard to think. die die , DIE!' hahaha! my children were also very hyper. they keep asking me nonsentical questions. like -.-
before the camp start , ahjob asked me whwther i got confidence to win.
i answered 'i was never ever so confident that i will...........lose! '
in the end , i won! hahaha! not by any number but , NUMBER 1 !!
WOOTS , WOOTS! haha! was super shocked. hahaha!
but i really thank god for this opportunity to reach out to the young ones and get them to know this wonderful god i have. :)
i also thank god for letting me win this time round. althought its tiring , but its worthwhile. (:
im tired , yet happy (:

pictures will be uploaded soon (:

ps: some stupid idiots is pissing me off now!

2009-11-21T00:48:00.002+08:00

sometimes , i just wish i weren't me. ):

how i wish i were never once in this world .

211109 (:

2009-11-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

helloeww! im back in action. lol!
haha! been years since i last blogged man! haha!
i had no time to spare as im super busy earning money and spending them like water. hahaha!
bother. im super tired out. partially , of everything.
be it working or other things.
i spend the last few weeks or maybe days just pondering over what to do.
maybe only a few will know what im talking bout.
but i just don't understand how things could just turn over night. well , i'l just leave the knot there to untie by itself. maybe one day it will untie by itself yet maybe not.
but i know that god will see me thru all that im going thru. (:
oh yaa , i finally cut my hair. woots! super happy.
i feel that my head is like tons lighter. hahaha!
and that guy who cut my hair sure is funny ! he blew my hair to some weirdo style and i kept tahan-ing my laughter. hahaha!
okayy. im working full day tomoro , which means 10am-10.30pm ): tiring!
i hate stock counting man! its so stupid!
maybe i'll just simply count. hahaha!
and im having rashes . itch , itch , ITCH !
well , btw , GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE FORM FIVE'S FOR SPM !
al the best , you people can do it (:
i'll surely pray for all of you. (: god bless!
im so gonna suffer tomoro , cause i have to sta in my shop for 10 hours facing the stupid garang woman. ishh! i simply hate her , but i must love my enemies ma. haha!
i wanna get off day on friday next week , cause can go CF CAMP! woots! (:
okayy, updates till here (: mr sandman is calling me. nights! *loved*

ps : learn to treasure what you have before its all gone and gone forever.

memories.

2009-11-11T15:06:00.001+08:00

memories are engraved to be remembered ,
not being able to be arased nor wash off and
not written to be erased.

2009-11-09T21:49:00.002+08:00

perhaps it just a game between fate and destiny.
why does fate always make fun of me?
i hate myself for being a jerk.
and i know i have been a jerk. ):
but what can i do. i tried my best , but i failed to save anything.
instead , i lose even more.
i lose a friend , a good friend.
and maybe , it's really never gonna be back as it use to be.
i rather it wasn't like that. ):

~~i'm nvr gonna believe in FATE NOR DESTINY.~~

~~IT'S JUST A PACK OF LIES.~~

):

2009-11-05T23:47:00.002+08:00
if only i could make myself brave and do something that i just can't bring myself to do. ):

~~PIERCE MY EARS~~

pesta 051109

2009-11-05T22:25:00.002+08:00
today , went to school early in the morning. cause got pesta form 3.
like lame lor. hahaha! today was volleyball and hockey. hahaha!
teacher so bad , don't let me join other classes , die also want me go back my own class.
and very well , hahahahhahaha! i was the only one running here and there to hit the ball back. and .... it was funny. lol.
we took many pictures too. hahahahaQ!
hockey got postponed cause it was raining like hell heavy!!!
im not going to school tomoro cause my leg hurts. lol.

ps : blogger is siao. can't uplaod pics! pissed!

im officially missing you .

2009-11-04T22:45:00.003+08:00
was roaming across some blog , when i heard this song.
it sounded very nice and i fell in love with it. (:
do enjoy .

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me whyd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel it wont go away
And today Im officially missin you

Abducted from this heartache, I could escape
But Ive heard it long enough to know
There aint no way
And today Im officially missing you

Ooh...cant nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Sid it stays on my mind
And I-Im officially

All I do is lay around, 2 years full of tears
From looking at your face all over
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I dont even know you at all, I dont know you at all
Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess its safe to say, baby Safe to say that I-Im officially missin you

Ooh...cant nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-Im officially

Well, I thought I could just get over you, baby
But I see theres something I just cant do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just cant find a way to let no one through

Ooh...cant nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-Im officially

Its official
Hoo, you know that Im missin you, yeah, yes
All I hear is raindrops, oh, yeah
And Im officially missin you

BUDDY !

2009-11-02T00:05:00.005+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BUDDY , SKL. !

ps : i got this photo from his blog. lol. great photo right? lol.

well, its a belated post. hahaha!
his birthday is on the 29th of oct. but i was kinda busy and didn't online.
hahaha!

BUDDY - happy 16th birthday !! grow older edy. so must also gro up , not side ways la. lol. i wish you all the best and study har know (: and you'll succeed one lar. no worries , i guess you know what im talking about. lol. (: all the best , *hearts*